Since the last post was about finding a house it makes sense that this one is about neighbours.
Nowadays, most of us don’t spend that much time at home: between work, activities and trying to have a social life, its easy to simply have a place to sleep monday to friday so to say.
That being said, having a good neighbour is a treasure.
Not because you’re going to need anything specific from him/her but because having a healthy community is something positive, which we all enjoy and keeps the growth spiral going up and up and up!
Social media is fine…but lets face it: nothing beats the real stuff.
When I moved into the new house, I made a point of introducing myself to the most direct neighbours. Most of us had just moved to the block (it seemed like there had been a regeneration of kind) and were basically finding our way around.
But there was a particular person who I had a bad start with.
Doing some DIY at home, I was missing a tool and thought to go and ask a for it…only to find this particular neighbout coming across as quite harsh and dismissive saying he couldn’t help. Fine…his problem, I guess!
Some days went by and somebody rings at my door: the “harsh” neighbour had plumbing problems and was asking for a bucket of water.
Why why why…look who’s here…right?
I didn’t even think about that situation and of course helped him out…actually invited him to a tea, we sat and chatted and it happened we had a lot of things in common (he is a Reiki therapist and I’ve been learning many techniques for some time).
And here is where the attitude and positive thinking became powerfull: I told him that when I asked him for a tool, he came across as harsh when I asked him for help.
His answer was surprising: he hadn’t even realized I had asked him for help! He was busy with his own DIY and having problems with his stuff.
Thats it…did you just see what happened? By sharing my thoughts (feelings, emotions, call it what you like) without fear I stop focusing on what I need…and simply share.
With that attitude, the other person doesn’t feel confronted…so its easier that they share THEIR thoughts!
Sounds stupid simple…I know.
But stop and think: how many times has it happened that since YOU’RE right and YOUR feelings are hurt…the other person has to know what YOU feel and how HE was WRONG…
Now you have a new tool to use the next time you don’t know how to handle a situation: listen, try to understand what the other person is feeling and find a common ground where nobody is particularly right and the only goal is to share.
Want to share an experience? How did you solve a similar situation?
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